Paving the Way to Confidence
Last night after going out with a group of amazing girls, I ended up seeing the photo of all of us together that we had taken. I was so excited to see the photo, because it was the first time we had all gotten together. And as you can imagine, I checked to see how I looked in the photo.
But the result made me want to cry.
I was wearing an extremely large, oversized sweater that I just love to wear when it gets really cold. (And it is!) But what I didn’t realize is that that same sweater makes me appear 5x my actual size. And not only that, my body position and posture gave me the appearance that indeed I was large and trying to hide my body.
My body language showed that I didn’t have confidence in myself.
You couldn’t see both the mental and physical work I had been doing. You couldn’t see the transformation that I’ve been going through of self-love and making positive decisions.
And this realization really got to me.
Why do I feel this way? Why do I care? Why don’t I appear to be as confident as I feel?
And it’s because confidence is a journey.
Just like with anything, it’s a journey that we start. It’s one paved with setbacks, failures, and challenges—a lifelong journey of believing that you are exactly the amazing and beautiful person that you’ve set out to be.
It just doesn’t happen overnight.
You can hear it from other people that you are amazing, and you can tell yourself that you’re amazing—but unless you truly believe it and manifest it, it’s not going to show.
I had done the work mentally, but not physically. I had gone out and back to my old habits of hunching my shoulders down, asking questions I mostly already knew the answer to, and trying to appear small—less of myself.
You see, the mental and the physical go hand in hand.
People often think that if you just feel confident, then you are. But it doesn’t always work that way. You have to break the physical habits.
You have to show that you’re confident, and even if you feel that way mentally, sometimes it takes work to appear that you have confidence. And by this I mean:
o What is your posture, your body language telling others?
o What does your clothing choice show?
o What does your face tell them?
o What are you saying, and how are you saying it?
o Are you asking for their approval in some sort of way?
When you don’t have confidence, in one way or another—through your words, actions, or both—you’re asking for another person’s approval.
But having confidence is truly not caring what anyone thinks of you.
It isn’t enough to simply saying you’re confident. You have to actually show it and be confident through your words, your thoughts, and your actions.
Confidence is one of life’s most challenging aspects that we have to face. For some, it comes easier, but for others it takes time.
So today, and every day, show the world the genuine, beautiful, and truly unique human that you are, and don’t let setbacks or failures keep you from believing in yourself and what you are capable of.